he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's official drugs can't kill me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
