For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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