So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
