Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize