i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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