I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
one might say we're banned from that church
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize