my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize