fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
