Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
