So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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