I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My feet surprised me
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