i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
