dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My cat gives me a boner
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
