people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
