thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
