Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
