Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
