my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Do vagina's smell?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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