you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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