The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
