I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
