I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
