you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
