Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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