I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
