i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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