I wannas sexs uuuuu
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
