I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
