At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
