my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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