Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
