I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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