BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Do vagina's smell?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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