Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
