question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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