my vag is so smooth its legendary
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
