8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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