have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
