so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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