Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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