My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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