We won't sleep together?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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