I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
