Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
