I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
