consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
