Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dear god my vagina.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
