we're blogging at a bar
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i've created a new STD.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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