Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
