Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
