oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
