remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
