That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Come see our sink grown plant.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
