Duck Duck Cougar?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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