at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Alive.
So much puke
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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