I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize