I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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