So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
