her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
