You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
