his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
