I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
