I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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