In America we eat man semen.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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