Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
