If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
