something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
