I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
