bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
