She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
