she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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