Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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